“To truly see and hear the other person, stop projecting being reasonable and objective.”
This is tough for me to understand since I have cultivated being reasonable and objective and filtered most of my life experiences via these lenses. Being reasonable has weathered me through seasons of pain and tempered my being overjoyed when presented with patches of light. And being objective has earned me praises and nods of approval from people who are happy to see that my being objective affirmed their world views. So, my old friend, let we walk slowly. It is easy for me to get lost here.
Reasonable, reason is mental and involves the mind. Objective, denotes a subject, and implies duality. So why can’t I truly see you and truly hear you, my dear friend, if I use my mind and view you in a dualistic manner?
Surely, I can see you with my mind right? Perhaps not all of you, because, like after a dozen refrains of “I just love Benjamin, because he is so yummy”, I needed to tune out and re-build my boundaries, reinforcing duality – – you are the object of this subject. Or after watching you prance around like a reindeer with hooves on fire, I could not stop my mind from projecting 10,000 frames forward and dreading a full-blown emotional breakdown with shards of broken glass flying and bodies falling. Were you acting? Or was that your way of coping with an affirmed rejection?
You are me and I am you. Maybe you are more transparent than I usually am. Maybe you are here to show me the meaning of being unrestrained, volatile and bi-polar. Maybe I reject seeing me in you because it is too jarring and I need anger, fury and rage to restore my boundaries and so re-build the wall between us.
So by being reasonable and objective, I see you. But should I be seeing me?
It was easy to get lost. I found the easy way out. I got lost. And it is alright, my old friend.